Funny Ways to Say Wait a Minute
My wife left me because I'm too insecure.
No wait, she's back.
She just went to make a cup of tea.
I just saw my Chinese waiter give my order to someone who looks nothing like me. I get it now.
Oh wait, my bad. That wasn't my waiter.
My wife left me because I am insecure
No wait, she's back.
She just went to get coffee.
My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid.
She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is...purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree
When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, Wait! I'm a talking tree!
The lumberjack laughed and said, And you will dialogue.
A girl was about to jump off a cliff...
A girl was about to jump off a cliff to end her life. Just as she was about to leap to her death, a homeless man approached from behind and shouted to ask her a question,
"Excuse me miss! Before you jump would you like to have sex with me?"
The woman replied angrily, "No I most certainly would not! How dare you try and take advantage of me in a situation like this!"
The homeless responded, "Very well then, I'll just wait for you to get to the bottom."
Mother's Day
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."
I have a bumper sticker that says...
"Honk if you think I'm sexy."
Then I wait at green lights till I feel better about myself.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas.
I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
*Teacher to Student* T: "Use the word 'centimeter' in a sentence"
S: "My grandma was arriving at the train station so i was centimeter"
T: "No, no, that's 'Sent to meet her'. Okay, try another one. Use 'contagious' in a sentence please"
S: "I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!"
Tomorrow I am going to open the time capsule I buried as a kid.
I can't wait to see how big my puppy got
You can explore wait expectancy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean wait impatiently dad jokes. There are also wait puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining
And says "ladies, is anything ok?"
TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer."
Now we wait.
My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer.
Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."
Me: "No baby wait, I can change..."
Sheep
At the end of the day, a border collie reported back to the grazier, "All fifty sheep accounted for, boss!"
"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
fight club
I went to my first fight club meeting last night, i showed up late so i missed the first few rules but it was awesome i love fight club cant wait for the next meeting
Today, I'm going to open up the time capsule I made when I was a kid...
I can't wait to see how big my puppy is now!!!!
I've decided to marry a pencil
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B
Hey guys, don't you just hate it when you're woken up in the middle of the night for sex?
can't wait to get out of prison.
why would you be a suicide bomber...
And wait for the 72 virgins in heaven... When you could become a catholic preist and have them now!
Source: Jimmy Carr
What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler. Oh no. Wait..
He drove a Honda.
But he didn't like talking about it.
John 12:49 :
> For I did not speak of my own Accord.
These Bowling Green Massacre jokes are too soon
Out of respect, we should at least wait until it takes place.
A poker player wins one million dollars first price in a tournament
Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?
Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.
Interviewer: and what about the rest?
Poker player: Well... I guess they'll have to wait..
My girlfriend left me because I'm too insecure...
Oh wait, she's back. She just went to the bathroom.
My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate."
I told her, "Oh yea... Just you wait."
Whenever I see a female bus driver, I'm reminded of how far we have come as a society...
Then I wait for the next bus
If you ever miss 4:20 just wait untill 4:22 because...
4:22 is 4:20 too.
Man, if you thought No Nut November was bad...
Wait until No Net December.
Microsoft is working on software for self-driving vehicles.
I can't wait until my car suddenly stops in the middle of the highway and reboots to install updates.
Friend who lives in Russia told me this joke
(English isn't my first language, sorry if the translation isn't the best)
The phone rings at 10 Downing Street.
- Hello, mister Putin would like to speak with Theresa May.
- I'm afraid she's currently sleeping.
- Very well, if she wakes up please tell her that mister Putin would like to talk to her.
- Will do.
- Thank you. *hangs up*
- Wait. What do you mean "if"?
I put the sexy in dyslexic
Oh wait
God was creating all the countries and it was Canada's turn
He turned to his angels and said "this country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world"
The angels ask God, "aren't you blessing this country a little TOO much?" and God replies, "wait till you see who their neighbour is"
My wife just told me that in 9 months, I'm in for a big surprise...
I can't wait for Santa to come now!!
Did you guys know that the Soviet Union made the best bread in history?
People would wait days in line for a single piece
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf...
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girl friend is disabled. Now we wait.
being a waiter may not be a very glamorous job
but at least it puts food on the table
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree. It shouted, Wait! I'm a talking tree
The lumberjack smiled, and you will dialogue .
Cannot wait to become a proud American!
I'm not immigrating or anything, I'm just not proud to be American.
The f in orphan stands for family
wait
The troubles of foreigners in Canada
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'."
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
**
a man is chopping down a tree
the tree says Wait, i'm a talking tree
the man proceeds chopping down the tree and says and you will dialogue.
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.
Thank you honey, she says, Is there anything I can bring back for you?
He laughs, and says, An Italian girl!
When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, How was the trip?
Very good, she replies.
And what happened to my present?
Which present? she asks.
The one I asked for - an Italian girl!
Oh, that. I did what I could. We'll just have to wait 9 months to see if it's a girl.
A man stumbles upon a magic lamp with a genie willing to grant him one wish.
Man: I wish your name was "Burger King".
Genie: Wait, what? Why?
Man: It's for a joke, trust me.
Genie: You'd waste a wish, something with the power to change the cosmos itself, for a joke?
Man: Yes.
Burger King: Have it your way.
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.
Thank you honey, she says, Is there anything I can bring back for you?
He laughs, and says, An Italian girl!
When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, How was the trip?
Very good, she replies.
And what happened to my present?
Which present? she asks.
The one I asked for - an Italian girl!
Oh, that. I did what I could. We'll just have to wait 9 months to see if it's a girl.
Waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project.
I know I did my part right, but I am worried the rest of you screwed it up.
A Soviet citizen is buying a car
He finally saved up enough rubles, went to the agency, and paid for a car.
He is told, "Come back on August 8th, 1983 to pick up your new car"
"But that's eight years from now."
"Yes, isn't it wonderful? The wait used to be ten years."
"Okay, fine. August 8th, 1983. Morning or afternoon?"
"It's eight years away. What difference does it make?"
"The plumber is coming in the morning."
An American woman goes to Italy on business and asks her husband what she could bring back for him.
He laughs and says, "An Italian girl!"
When she returns home he picks her up at the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good," she replies.
"And did you bring something home for me?"
"Something, did I forget?" she asks.
"The Italian girl I asked for," he replies jokingly.
"Oh, that," she says. "Well, I did what I could. Now we have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl."
How many American conservatives do you need to screw in a lightbulb?
Ten.
One holds the bulb, the other nine wait for Fox News to spin it.
My girlfriend left me because I'm insecure.
Oh wait, she's back. I guess she just went to the grocery store.
My wife left me because I'm too insecure.
No wait, she's back. She just went out to bring me a cake.
Donald Trump was walking through Manhattan and saw a long queue. Wondering what is was for, he joined it.
People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this queue for and why are you now leaving it?"
The man said "This is the queue for Canadian Immigration Visas, but if you are getting one, I don't need one now."
My wife left me because she said I'm insecure.
No, no. Wait. Here she comes. She just went to the bathroom.
One of the side effects of the COVID vaccine is constipation.
After getting the first dose, you'll need to wait a few weeks for number 2.
A lumberjack walks up to a tree with an axe in his hands, ready to get to work.
As he gets ready to swing, the tree starts to speak. Wait, wait! Don't do it! I'm a talking tree!
The lumberjack laughs and starts chopping away, saying, Then you will dialogue.
I was waiting on my food, when my waitress slipped on a wet spot in the dining room
The cook yelled from the back sorry for the long wait times, but our server is currently down
While waiting to use the men's room at a local bar I noticed everyone would do their business, sing, and then flush.
Then I saw the sign above the urinal, "Flush after using".
My wife left me this morning because of my insecurity issues.
Oh, wait, she's back. She just went to get milk.
A kid came out as bisexual to his dad and the dad said they have to move
"This apartment has a strict no-animal policy.", he says. "Wait until they find out I have a bison."
What do you call 6,000 soldiers slowly eating cheese?
Legion, wait for it, dairy.
There's a movie coming out soon about hillbillies...
I can't wait to see the trailer.
I bought my wife a fridge as an anniversary present.
I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Source: https://jokojokes.com/wait-jokes.html
0 Response to "Funny Ways to Say Wait a Minute"
Post a Comment